Posted by: bridget | 11 November 2007

Search Terms, Part II

You have to wonder about some people and the things that go on over the internet.  Here is a round-up of some of the stranger search terms used to find this blog:

pachyderm seinfeld

Well, Elaine did go to Tufts; perhaps our intrepid googler was looking for her alma mater’s mascot?  Alternatively, was there an episode with a cameo appearance of zoo animals?

spontaneous abortions atheism

Only Jews carry to term all the time.  Agnostics aren’t certain whether or not there is a baby to carry to term.

men can’t get aroused

What alternate reality have we here? Try these lines: “Hello.”  “Good morning.”  “I broke my leg, am haemorrhaging to death, and need an ambulance.”  Any one is considered an open invitation to intercourse.

scarf hold sex

Um… perhaps TotalTransformation can help y’all out with that one.

classics porn star

Err… the elephant left college quite some time ago, but cannot seem to remember anything along those lines from her days as a classical studies major. 

mechanical deer

Do you mean to say that those super-cute deer that hang out in the law school parking lot at 3 am, that make leaving the library at such an absurd hour endurable, are mechanical?  Talk about sucking all the joy out of life.

nerdy women

Finally, someone came to the right place.

chocolate tree

Where is this wondrous creation, and can they grow in apartments?  Is it good chocolate (say, San Fran based chocolate trees) or that Hershey’s stuff?

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Responses

  1. I think I may be responsible for the mechanical deer thing. I sort of remember mentioning one once.

    Did you know in Indiana the state actually has mechanical deer? They use them to catch poachers. A local factory owner took a shot at one a few years ago. The state confiscated his $30,000 pickup, fined him, and made him pay for the damage to the deer.

    I don’t know anything about that porn star stuff though.

    If you hear any more about that chocolate tree, let me know. I have the perfect place to plant some and I would be glad to send you a box now and then.

  2. “nerdy women”

    That is the exact same search term I used to find my wife online. HA!

  3. Hey, for those of us who lived in Hershey, we think the chocolate is good! ALL kinds of chocolate are good — just some better than others.

  4. Sunday School Teacher,

    That is triggering a memory. I believe there was also mention of turtle crossings? One must help the turtle cross the road and point it in the correct direction, if one happens across a turtle crossing the road?

    Must replace the deer… that’s a good one.

    If you want to water (or milk??) the chocolate tree, and there is such a thing, I’ll send one along.

  5. TotalTransformation,

    Well, apparently, someone came here and had no desire to wed me. Sounds like a sane person. ;)

  6. Vance,

    There’s nothing against Hershey’s chocolate (the dark stuff is pretty good); it’s just not good chocolate – the rich, dark, flavourful stuff.

    By the way, I do have something against that “Hershey’s Milk Chocolate” song that the cows sing. I went to Hershey ten months ago, and it’s still in my head whenver I see a Hershey’s bar. Grrr!

    One of my friends is in Europe and promised a chocolate tasting, with varietals from several countries. Will report back.

  7. “Well, apparently, someone came here and had no desire to wed me. Sounds like a sane person. ;)”

    You never know. They might be lurking, waiting, plotting their options. Not that I know anything about that. Seriously, I don’t.

  8. They were trying to escape!!!

    http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2007/11/falling-flags.html

  9. You never know. They might be lurking, waiting, plotting their options. Not that I know anything about that. Seriously, I don’t.

    Don’t worry, TT – polygamy will be legal in a few years and you can marry Queen of Swords. ;)

  10. Ooh, chocolate tree. I want!

  11. Hee hee.

    Ditto that.

  12. Pachyderm was the nickname of a character on seinfeld :-) one of kramers friends I believe.


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